10 Random Poker Quotes

• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT