10 Random Poker Quotes

• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris