10 Random Poker Quotes

• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it