10 Random Poker Quotes

• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.