10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• The only thing you lose by folding is the opportunity to win.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson