10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.