10 Random Poker Quotes

• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.