10 Random Poker Quotes

• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!