10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Poker is like life, most people don't learn from their mistakes they only recognize them. C.Arel
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz