10 Random Poker Quotes

• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• If you could lose all of your money again... what would you have done differently?