10 Random Poker Quotes

• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• In order to live, you must be willing to die - Amir Vahedi
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"