10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.