10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."