10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• If you could lose all of your money again... what would you have done differently?
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."