10 Random Poker Quotes

• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed