10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. --Nick the Greek
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Never educate a stupid poker player.