10 Random Poker Quotes

• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.