10 Random Poker Quotes

• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• I'd rather be good than lucky, I'd rather be lucky than lose...
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.