10 Random Poker Quotes

• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"