10 Random Poker Quotes

• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Don't challenge strong players, challange weak ones. That's what they're there for. - John Vorhaus, author of Killer Poker
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.