10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• I'm just looking for a way to get outa here.... --------Doyle Brunson, goes all-in WSOP2003
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.