10 Random Poker Quotes

• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.