10 Random Poker Quotes

• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers