10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword