10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.