10 Random Poker Quotes

• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• God is kind to the underdog! C.A.A
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright