10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.