10 Random Poker Quotes

• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Poker - love the pain or play checkers. - MoeSyzslak
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack