10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)