10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.