10 Random Poker Quotes

• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• im going to 2 out you to death
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.