10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• im going to 2 out you to death
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow