10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen