10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.