10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• im going to 2 out you to death
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)