10 Random Poker Quotes

• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm