10 Random Poker Quotes

• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)