10 Random Poker Quotes

• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"