10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow