10 Random Poker Quotes

• The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. --Nick the Greek
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.