10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen