10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth