10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.