10 Random Poker Quotes

• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.