10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Poker is for fat, American losers.