10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com