10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."