10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.