10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.