10 Random Poker Quotes

• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Fook the floosh droo!
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)